Jan Mayen

From Victoria 2 Wiki
Revision as of 12:07, 16 April 2013 by Lockeslylcrit (talk) (Added a humorous write-up of Jan Mayen for HoD)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The World's Worst Nation

Jan Mayen is the world's worst nation, bar none. It's even worse than Ryukyu was in Europa Universalis III. At least in EU3 Ryukyu could build a military unit. Jan Mayen? The nation has more polar bears than people. Literally. You have 15 adult male population in 1836, all of them farmers. Good luck trying to get any more than that.

Advantages to playing Jan Mayen:

1. Are you serious?

2. No, really. Are you serious?

3. Fine, fine. Because you are a one province minor with 15 population, you never need to worry about setting your National Focus to anything.

Disadvantages to playing Jan Mayen:

1. 15 population. Negative growth rate. Expect to remain at 10 population (the minimum) for the rest of the game.

2. Sweden and Norway still have cores on you.

3. Want to build a railroad? Tough! You start the game with enough money to start one, but the supplies required to build it will put you in instant bankruptcy.

4. Did I mention 15 population? Yeah, good luck getting anything from taxes or tariffs.

5. Seriously. 15. There are more people who liked New Coke than the total population of Jan Mayen.

How To Play Jan Mayen

1. Select Sweden.

2. Release Jan Mayen and select Play As.

3. Ragequit before 1900 because your population went down to 10 and never recovered.

Why Should You Play As Jan Mayen?

Now this is a good question. Have you ever played Europa Universalis III? More specifically, have you ever played the mod Death & Taxes? In the mod, there's a one province minor called Tahiti. Tahiti is essentially a khanate, which means that it cant attack anyone since nobody can border them. It also means nobody can attack them either. The one unique feature to Tahiti is the fact that an event at the very beginning of the game reveals the entire world map. Tahiti then becomes a way to just sit back and watch the world unfold without your intervention.

Jan Mayen is essentially the same thing. It is an island nation that can be used to watch the world hands-off. Unfortunately, unlike Tahiti, Jan Mayen has Swedish and Norse cores, and those countries can attack if they so desire. So why should you play Jan Mayen? Because you hate life, but that's just my guess anyway.